USS Vesta

A Play-by-Nova roleplay game.

Previous Next

Pain

Posted on Mon Oct 11th, 2021 @ 2:57pm by Chief Petty Officer Calley Loreth & Karrun North

Mission: Back Post
Location: Holodeck

Calley Loreth wasn’t sure what the next step was with her life. All the control she had coveted for so long the control that had let her keep her life on track and let her be the person she wanted to be, the half Romulan half Human that was working to alter the relations between her two peoples.

Now she was a creature of her emotions, the emotions that she had worked so hard to control were now controlled her.

Calley hadn’t known what she was going to do, after her outburst with Martin in the sickbay. No, she didn’t want to remember that, that loss of control where she had fallen to pieces and shown a man she admired, a man she would admit nothing else about, her weakness when she worked so hard to show only strength to him.

Then she had lost control in private, the mirror that she had shattered with her fist, it had felt almost cathartic smashing it. She hadn’t lost control no, she had expressed her control, her anger, her emotions through an act and had broken something. It had felt good but had left behind a tell-tale sign of her ever-loosening control a smashed mirror and a cut up fist.

She had fled from her quarters that night too like she had fled from the sickbay the time before, fled to the Lounge where she had found Karrun who had been willing to help no questions asked.

But she had judged, she had judged Calley and the young mixed species girl had vowed never to return like that. Calley could feel the judgement in the older woman’s looks as she had held her hand and run the regenerator over it.

And thus, Calley could never return there either, she couldn’t afford for the weakness to spread and become public. She had an image to keep, a persona that she had to put up so people would think that Romulans like her, even half Romulans, were nothing like the stereotypes of her people.

A persona that she would never admit to others was slipping. A persona that she would never admit had cracks in the armour cracks that she herself was blind to.

Calley stared at herself in the mirror, she couldn’t see the gauntness in her face, the massive bags under her eyes nor the ever more protruding collar bones. She had been losing weight recently as she had refused to go to the mess to eat and even in her own quarters never seemed to have an appetite for anything. No, she looked fine to her own eye, that was all that mattered, if she could trick herself into believing her image was intact she could fool others into it as well.

Couldn’t she?

Calley pulled the jumpsuit up, hiding her features as she zipped the suit up to the nape of her neck. It was time, time to vent the emotions she had been attempting to hide within herself over the past few days.

Running a hand through her hair she gathered it up into a ponytail and set her determination. She was going to do it this time, she was going to beat the program this time. If she couldn’t take the pain from this martial arts program, control it and focus it into her own control what could she do? Could she do anything?

Moving to the archway, Calley pulled the wallpanel below control panel off from its spot revealing the isolinear circuits below. Pulling the small chip from her pocket she pulled some of the wiring out of the way to reveal the empty sockets below. Finding the right one she pushed the ship into the mount and wiggled it around a bit to ensure it was locked into place.

The chip barely moved.

Satisfied with how it was set, she put the panel back into place to allow the archway to disappear into the simulation but before it did, she tapped at the controls to ensure her little chip had done its job.

It had.

She thought to herself that she’d have to thank the engineer she convinced to make the chip.

Tapping the start button and taking a step back, Calley watched as the archway disappeared and the program began. The dressing room that had been there before disappeared the entire room shifting to a ring with a Human standing across from her in a matching suit.

Good.

Calley pulled herself into her stance, good or bad it didn’t matter.

The hologram did the same.

They stood there for a few moments, gauging each other, nothing said between them but the sound of bare feet on the ring floor.

Then the hologram moved striking out hard with its leg catching her in the arm as she moved to block.

Pain radiated up her arm as she moved back and shook her arm out to get the pain out.

Pain.

Pain that made her feel in control, because if she could control it, push it down, she was in control.

Or that’s what she felt.

But she wasn’t, not really.

But she didn’t know that, not consciously.

This time a jab, she had been unaware trying to control the pain.

She heard a sharp crack and pain radiated from her nose. She could feel something wet pouring out of her nose.

Calley let out a harsh curt laugh.

This was control. She controlled the pain.

But not really. She just pushed it down inside of herself, allowing it to well up, build itself into a hard ball inside of herself.

A ball that, she didn’t know it yet, would destroy who she really was.

But that would come later.

For now, she lashed out herself, kicking and punching her opponent as hard as she could, relishing the slight pain every single strike caused here she made contact.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Karrun let out a sigh as she watched Romulan half human leave the holodeck. She had been passing by pure chance on her way to one of her stores in one of the more isolated cargo bays when the doors had parted and Calley had exited but not before pulling something out of the control panel.

There were no obvious marks on the young girl, but Karrun could see the slight limp in her step, the way she cradled her ribs ever so slightly.

The El-Aurian let out a sigh before continuing on her way to the cargo bay. The young one still had a ways to go, Karrun just hoped she’d realize what was happening before it was too late.

 

Previous Next

labels_subscribe

Powered by Nova from Anodyne Productions. This theme was designed by Emily Wolf.